It's New Year Resolution Time

One of the biggest new year's resolutions for me is connected with a ministry of our church, St Patricks. I am absolutely resolved that I am going to have a regular time of prayer and journaling each week. So, I have made my decision public by creating a new blog for a women's group I lead called the Order of St Brigid. (My blogger hyperlink function is broken for some reason so you can go to the page by clicking on the link on the right hand side of the page.) This is where I am going to record my journaling for all to see and know whether I am a spiritual slacker or whether I keep to my resolutions.

I warn you I don't have a good track record about keeping resolutions. But shame and public humiliation can be good motivators. So here I go again.

Hopefully some other St Brigidites and casual web surfers will join the conversation and we'll see where things go from here.

Why this resolution? Basically, everything I know and have read about spiritual formation and, of course, it's annoyingly all over the Bible, is that prayer and scripture reading are what's needed to make one like Jesus. Hmm. The scandal is that I am just so busy I don't have time to do the things that make me like Jesus. I don't feel overly guilty about this (unfortunately). I mean, very few other Christians I know incorporate regular prayer and scripture reading into their lives. But I know I need it. It is like exercising - you just never seem to get around to doing it.

I've examined the reasons why I don't have "devotions" for quite a long time as I was not doing them. See, there is no immediate guarantee that I will look anything like Jesus when I get up off my knees. I would take a magic santification pill everyday if there was one. And, there is no instant gratification involved. It is just hard work making yourself do it. With anything that involves a long, slow process of transformation over time, I rarely have the patience for it. Heck, I have trouble waiting 10 seconds for the pictures to load on a web page. In essence, I am going to do this thing every week and only years later will I be able to say, " I think I am a little less angry than I used to be" or "I might be more considerate of others and less prideful than I used to be." Not exactly a glowing recommendation for spiritual disciplines.

But, I have tried everything else to change my habits and basic selfishness. And it is just not working. I am really quite a pleasant and fun person on the outside, but there is plenty of disorder and disgusting attitudes underneath the surface. And they pop out will amazing regularity despite my best efforts. Now, I am just tired of it. I want to deal with the roots of this disease not its symptoms.

So I need spiritual disciplines whether I like it or not. Wish me luck and pray for me. Happy New Year.